[CPA] You Are a Hopeless Liberal if You:

Plucked this from a Pro-Conservative Yahoo! Groups discussion group I'm on mainly for humor and debate.  Thought I'd do what the author said I could do by sharing it.  :)

Feel Free To Pass Along

You Are a Hopeless Liberal if You:

Actually Believe the Monkey Stories They Have Been Feeding You All These Years.

Think the Oscars Are Politically Neutral

Believe the Millionaire Osama must Have Just Had a Rough Childhood

Keep a Straight Face When One of Those Television Shows Says the Earth is Millions of Years Old

Think the Colbert Report and the Daily News with Jon Stewart is Wholesome Family Entertainment

Think the Bible Allows For Evolution Theory.

Think the Cambrian Explosion is a Minor Point Hardly Worth Mentioning.

Don't Think it Odd That the Meteor Only Killed Dinosaurs and Birds With Teeth.

Think it is All Right For Other Animals to Kill And Eat But Not the Human Animal .

Think Fox News is the Only News Channel Worth Making Fun of.

Think the 'Origin of Species' by Darwin actually explains the Origin of Species.

Think the Only Real Difference Between Micro Evolution and Macro Evolution is One of Spelling .

You Think Sadaam Just Needed a Good Talking to .

Don't Know When the Plaster Ends and the Bone Begins When Assembling the Latest Dinosaur Exhibit

"Stupid Idiot" is Your Best Argument Against Conservatives

Get Your Best Ideas From David Letterman and Jay Leno

Believe 'To Each His Own', Except When You Spot A Conservative.

You Think That if We Just Let Terrorists Rule The World They Would Stop Being Terrorists.

Actually Believe that 'Separation of Church and State' is in the Constitution.

Believe That The Bible Says: "And God Saw All That He Had Made and said, 'It Needs Millions of Years of Work. " (Genesis 1:31)

BJ Maxwell 08/29/2006

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Some Additions:

Know there are no absolutes, except that Conservatives are absolutely wrong.

Think That Jerry Springer is an educational show and also a great dancer.

Cannot Understand why Your Liberal Views Aren't Working On Your Family

OR

Don't Think It Hypocritical To Be Liberal In Your World View but Conservative In The Upbringing Of Your Family.

Were Tempted To Name Your First Child Gandhi

Understand that Your Watch Needed a Designer and Builder But Think the Universe came about Through a Mere Explosion.

Say There Is No Evidence For God But Cannot Say What Kind of Evidence Would Convince You of His existence .

You Think That Hitler Just Needed a Good Talking To

Your Second Best Argument is to Read the First Paragraph of a Conservative Article and Then Say, 'So What Is Your Point' OR 'I Disagree .'

Try to Save the Whales But Not the Unborn.

One Liners Sum Up Your View Of Conservatives While Using Numerous Oxymorons To Sum Up Your Own

Bj Maxwell

09/19/2008

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